Funny things Logan has said

Logan: Do you know about when Mary went to see Jesus in the cave after he died on the cross?
Doug: Yes, she went to see Jesus.
Logan: And the Angels were there, why were they there?
Doug: They were telling Mary that Jesus body was gone.
Logan: Then what happened?
Doug: I don't know.
Logan: YES YOU DO!
Doug: No, I really don't know.
Logan: YES you do, that is the easiest part.
Doug: No, I really don't, what happened?
Logan: Mary went and told everyone what she saw.
Doug: (thinking.....duh)

The night Logan and Izzy stayed with neighbhors while we were at the hospital:
Doug went to pick up Logan and Izzy, it was about 11:00 p.m. Our friend: Wendel was taking Logan to the car and said:
You have to know Logan to appreciate this: Logan is very sweet and polite, not typicallly talking back to anyone.
Wendel: I'm sorry I woke you up this late.
Logan: Don't ever do that again.

Bargaining the miscarriage

I have not been sure what to think or feel lately. Everything makes me feel guilty. How could I make any plans after having lost my baby. How can I be concerned about my weight, where I am going to work, whether we should have another baby, taking another licensing exam for Social Work.......Thinking of the future seems bad since our baby is not going to be a part of it. We had discussed taking Logan and Izzy to Disney World but postponed our plans for a few years for when the baby would be old enough. How could I start making plans again for Logan and Izzy without Reagan. It just seems wrong....like I am discounting the fact that we were going to have another baby and now we are not. What a horrible mother.
In church today they said, "suffering is a condition of our existence." The question should not be, "why does God allow suffering, but what can we gain from our suffering to make us better people, closer to God and to our others?"
"form your attitude, don't have your attitude form you."
I believe that I have used my life experiences to make me stronger so that I can help people but I just can't seem to get this one. I was so looking forward to having a big family. I feel guilty that I was not excited initially or that I knew that I was going to have a girl, but really wanted a boy. Maybe all these feelings made God rethink giving me the baby. I was so stressed in January, haven't been exercising or eating exactly right, maybe God thought I wouldn't be a good mother this time.
I am finding myself pull away from everyone. I am not opening up or talking with anyone. I know that is unhealthy but I can't seem to move forward.

Can't seem to find the words to tell Logan and Izzy, but we lost the baby last night. We were all so excited. Logan and Izzy were always praying for the baby. Doctor said there was no way to tell what happened except to say that the baby just wasn't developing. Doug and I are numb right now. Now sure what to think or how to feel. Until the ultrasound this morning I didn't want to believe it and still don't but I have to acknowledge that my baby is gone and am not sure if I will ever get over this loss. I have had many horrible things happen in my life, but none compare to this and the complete feeling of loss that I have right now.

That's my girl. Into everything. Nothing scares her and she is literally into Everything. There is nothing she doesn't believe she can do and will try it all. She is exhausting. I have no idea where she gets that.....UGH. But, she is a sweety. She loves for me to sit with her. We don't have to be watching anything, she just wants me to sit and hold her.....it is Great.....because you know the girl never sits still....

I am in my second trimester now. Gaining too much weight and Freaking out. Still a little nervous about the new baby, but excited. Obviously something are Not in my control...???? Go figure. I have started my new position with the burn team. I am missing transplant terribly, but really like the burn team. They are like minded individuals, education oriented and funny. Not sure that USAMC is for me anymore, but hanging in there for now. I have always had a job where I was trusted and given a little bit of a leash to explore. Social services is not like that which has been challenging to say the least. I guess this is my time to learn a new management style.

Logan and Izzy are doing Great. Logan is eating everything he sees which is so funny. He will eat dinner and 10 minutes later want something else and we will go through this the entire night.
Izzy is so independent but has started to develop her softer side. She loves her baby. She is always pushing her baby in the stroller carrying her purse.

Doug is doing better after his shoulder surgery. We were not given all the details of post surgery recovery so that has been difficult for him. He wants to get up and go, but it is taking longer than anticipated.